Avoidance~

Lately, I've been watching a ton of movies. Clash of the Titans, Kick-Ass, Death At a Funeral, and most recently, Iron Man 2. They were all great movies and Kick-Ass even took my breath away. have you ever been to a movie that got a standing ovation where everyone stood up and clapped after the movie? It is an incredible feeling of synchronicity that I won't soon forget. It was wonderful and took my mind off of many issues floating around. Many of the movies I have chosen to view recently are somewhat other worldly. This may be because I choose to try and believe in a place where my problems never existed. Yes it is true, once again I have had my heart broken because I chose to believe in something that could never have worked. Typing this is my form of closure cause once it is written, it is out there for the world to know. No one really reads this any more so it is all fine. I doubt she even checks it any more. She's been so busy with school and her new found relationship I haven't really had the chance to really connect with her anymore. I hold no grudge against her, but I do feel somewhat moronic for having gone down this path. Either way, there's really not much I can do now. I just hate how big of a part of my life she plays. Even when she is not around she does good things for me. I thank her yet it makes me miss her more. She said I sucked at pool so I became good at it, she complimented me on my art so I perfected it. And now that she has left me on my own, in an attempt to forget about her and move on with my life I crammed everything I ever wanted to do in one summer to occupy all of my time. I began to try to play the guitar and started my driving lessons. If it was not for her I would not have progressed so quickly, since I am the slow type, I usually take forever to do anything. But her leaving me in utter agony has somewhat pushed me to improve myself. But I believe this has to stop. It is not that I do not appreciate her, I just believe I should not only be a part of her legacy, but it is time for my own legacy to begin. It may be that we were never meant to be friends since I have grown overly dependent on her but I need to find my own place in this world. This all starts now.

Currently listening to: Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne - Down

down to earth~