Why do I choose to come back here? Because I have nowhere else to go. No one to tell, no one to understand. Love is only another outlet of pain for me for I am forever destined to fall in love with those with stars crossed with mine. At first I thought I would only ever fall in love once in my lifetime. When I found Ashton. But as time passed she found someone else better suited for her. Or so she thought.
Although she is without a partner now... deep down, I know I never had a chance in God's given earth of ever having her return those feelings. And with lots of time I have come to accept such a fact. I may not pursue or anymore but I will forever be falling in love with her every single time I see her. Love is only accompanied by pain in my world. If life is perceived differently by every individual than I can only say that my perception of life has led me to this conclusion.
I always thought I could only fall in love once, but then it struck a second blow to my heart. There again, another person I could not reach with the depths of my heart. I was close friends with her and she let me into her world, but she would never date a friend. The weirdest part is that I realized how much I actually loved her when she started crying. It was a cute type of crying with little whimpers in between. In most situations where girls cry it is uncomfortable for me, and I wish for them to stop. But for her it was different.
When she started crying I loved her more, because I realized I didn't mind it. I didn't mind anything about her and that made her perfect to me. A perfect ten forever and ever. I told her I love her but I don't know if she knows I only say that truthfully to two people in this whole entire world. Not family, not anyone else. Just them two. I love you and I forever will love you. But you will never know. No one will ever read this blog because no one knows it exists, much like how no one knows I exist...
I love you, Cynthia Yang
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