Home for Christmas

I'm not really clear as to why I choose to go home for Christmas. Does it have something to do with the fact that I still rely on her? Time will tell... I may be taking baby steps towards independence but at least there's progress. Slowly but surely it will happen. Other than that I never really felt a big difference between living in London and living in Toronto. Although London is associated with work stress, and Toronto is associated with family stress, I never really worried about either one. They both make me go bananas but truth be told, I do not feel much of a difference in terms of attachment. This may be because I do not feel like I belong anywhere yet. I have good friends in both places but no one I would say was irreplaceable. Building that sense of belonging is what I've longed for. Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to wake up realizing that this life is mine.

So what does this holiday season have to do with anything? Do I still believe in Christmas? I would like to think so. The decorations on my ceiling and walls are just to spark that little bit of motivation to go on. The only thing I wish to receive is happiness. Whether it be a hot cup of coffee or a plush toy, happiness is out there if I look hard enough. I wish to give hope and joy to all those I touch. For as long as I breathe air, I shall try my best to better the lives of others.

Plug In Stereo - Oh Darling (Cady Groves)

Ethan Gibson - Take it All (Cady Groves)

The Pretty Reckless - Just Tonight