Fruits of terror and buns of fear~

Ever since the No Frills on McCowan closed due to heavy competition from the Loblaws Super Store, the closest No Frills has been the one up the street at Agincourt Mall. My parents usually choose one of the two places to attend to for their consumer needs. I decided to tag along as our kitchen shelves were barren and emptier than a cookie jar at fat camp. Unfortunately they chose to go to the No Frills at Agincourt Mall. It was this day that I had realized how much I hated this very specific location in this large franchise.


As I got out of the car I walked up to the side of the store to obtain a shopping cart. I put my quarter in the slot but the cart was jammed. It was then that the No Frills employee standing beside the carts decided to put down his newspaper and whisper "Those carts don't work you'll have to use the ones out there (meaning the parking lot from which I came from)." As I was walking around the inside of the store, it took me precisely five minutes to get from the door to the end of the first aisle. No I did not dilly dally, it was just an unfortunate case of moronic-itis. All the individuals standing in front of me decided to stand in the middle of all the aisles why I stuck very close to the sides of the walls. They took their sweet time walking as they browsed through the aisle debating whether or not to buy Fruitloops. It wasn't just one individual who seemed to get on my nerve it was the whole store. The aisle were all about a meter and a quarter wide. This was large enough for one cart and one person walking side by side. If two carts met an epic showdown would occur where one would have to back out of the aisle.

Tons of individuals chose not to move out of the middle of the aisle even as I waited patiently for them to step aside as I lightly reminded them that I had a life as well. Eventually I changed from politely saying "Excuse me" to screaming "MY CART SEEMS TO NEED SOME SPACE IN ORDER TO GET FROM THIS END TO THAT END FOR I HAVE NOT PERFECTED TELEPORTATION YET." Well at least that is what I wanted to say xP. I grew impatient as many individuals cut me off while I was walking like I did not exist. Eventually I obtained all the Kraft Dinner and cookies I wanted. Waiting in line at the cashier a kid behind me screamed "Mom! Did you know that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard once that his foot flew back in time and sank the Titanic?!" His father gently replied "Hush or I'll tell Chuck Norris to come here and roundhouse kick you in the face." Without fear the child replied "I get to meet Chuck Norris?!" Leaving the store I felt very accomplished, for I had shopped at one of the most irritating places on earth and survived. I couldn't even find the oatmeal. The lesson I learned today is that patients is a virtue and a true skill, and not being roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris is a gift.

Currently listening to: DJ Shinya - Black ☆ Star

down to earth~